It's almost Easter...let's resurrect this thing.

Joe = 1, Xanga = 0

So I just tried to sign in and leave a comment on one of my friend's xangas.  I was interrupted after my attempt, however, when Xanga said that they were updating passwords in an effort to make them stronger.  Passwords now had to be at least 6 letters long and contain at least one number or symbol.

"Well that's fine." I commented to myself.  "My password already meets those requirements."

But when I tried to resubmit my current password, Xanga unleashed its fury and told me of a rule it had not previously mentioned:  my password could not be the same as my old one, despite the fact that my old one met the "stronger security" requirements.

You see, I don't like having to learn new passwords.  Its hard enough keeping up with the ones I already have.  I thought this was an outlandish request on Xanga's part.  And why did Xanga make its users jump through this useless hoop?  "Stronger security," you say?  No, I know the truth.  I am not gullible nor stupid enough to be drawn in by this obvious case of spin, with all its smoke and mirrors.  The mastermind of this fiendish plot was none other than The Man.  Yes, I know that behind all of this tomfoolery, he sits proudly - grinning from ear to ear as he has figured out yet another way to confound the helpless masses with unnecessary red tape and bureaucracy.  Well, I refuse to sit idly by like the rest of the mob, who are unknowlingly being taken advantage of.

"What ever did you do?" you ask.  Well, I pretended to go along.  Make a gurgling noise and type in some obtuse excuse for a password, like a lesser man would do.  But then, once The Man thought he had won, and he had lowered his defenses, I executed a plan that mustered all of my cunning.  I went back to my xanga page, signed in (with my "new" password) and immediately rushed to the "account info" section of my profile, where I proceeded to change my password BACK to my OLD password!!!  TAKE THAT XANGA...or should I say...THE MAN!

And so, friends, I say to you now: Do not fall victim to this attack.  Do not be fooled.  Stand.  Fight!

Here you go, Bets...

Well, it has been right around five months since I last wrote on here.  The silence shows just how many things can vie for one's attention and priority, good and bad.  Since I wrote on here last, I have had a wide variety of experiences.  The pinnacle of several notable ones would have to be that I have graduated from JBC and am now waiting for June 16th, when I move to Florissant, MO to begin my ministry there.  I'll be First Christian Church of Florissant's Minister of Discipleship, and work with their small groups and Wednesday evening service, among other responsibilities. 

With the time between then and now quickly vanishing, I have come to the realization of how poorly I am qualified to serve these people.  Out of those four years, I can think of perhaps a cummulative two hours of class time that was devoted to skills that directly apply to my duties pertaining to small groups.  Now I find no fault with Johnson - I chose to be trained as a preacher, and they have only so much time to give instruction.  Regardless, I see me throwing myself into a raging river with a hole-y paddle and no boat.  And there is the lesson.  The lesson four years of Bible College have taught me is not how to be completely ready, but rather how to be willing to serve.  I might not know what to do, but I have faith that God is able to guide me through His word and Spirit to serve others in the ways He has ordained.  This is the largest step of faith I have ever had to take.  Am I scared?  Well...I'm lost as to how to answer that emphatically without using an expletive.  Am I going to step anyway?  That's what this is all about.

On another note...
Oddly enough, starting with the night of my graduation, almost all of my dreams have been school-related.  I have dreamt more about school in the last few weeks than in all my time at JBC.  A favorite-of-sorts has been a dream where I realize about 1/2-3/4 the way through the semester that I have forgotten to attend one of my classes.  I had a version of this dream last night, in fact.  Every time, the class that has slipped my mind has been a science or math class, and every time, the teacher of the class is my high school biology teacher, Mr. Greenburg.  Now in these dreams I never go to Mr. Greenburg - because he always was a bit frightening (lacrosse coach with red hair).  Rather, the rest of the dream is spent figuring out some way to still do well in the class and graduate.  Should I drop the course and take it correspondence?  Well, I wouldn't have time to get all the work done and turn it in before the distance learning deadline for graduation.  Last night, I ended up walking in to a remedial Algebra I class, where Dave Legg was tutoring some kids.  I asked him what I should do, and we then discussed that with the number of classes I had missed, I could still somehow end up with an A- in the course.  I don't know how the math worked on that one, since it was sometime in April when this dream took place.  Maybe I hadn't learned it yet since it was a math course I was missing.  Anyway, I regretted the A-, but about the time I was going to question Dave on what attendance policy he was using to determine his theory - the back wall of the room disappeared and I could see fireworks coming up from Neyland Stadium in the shape of football strategy plots (complete with x's and o's).  I forgot about my class situation and watched the fireworks until I woke up.

Currently Listening Then and Now: 1964-2004 By The Who see related

Busyness.

Busyness.

Not business.  Busyness.

Busyness is why I haven't written on here in over a month.
Busyness is why I haven't been able to spend time with people I love, doing things that I love.
Busyness is why I haven't been able to read one page of non-assigned reading in the last three months.
Busyness is why I slept through 1/3 of the chapel services this semester.
Busyness is why I can count the number of weeknights this semester during which I've gotten eight hours of sleep on one hand.
Busyness is why my body decided to "rebel" against me for a month earlier this fall.
Busyness is why I ignore God's command to maintain a time of rest to replenish myself.
Busyness is why I ignore God.

The thing is...I like busyness.  I don't want to cut out any of the things that contribute to it.  The classes I am taking are mostly required, and the ones that aren't will benefit me when (LORD willing) I go to graduate school.  Being a TA has allowed me to connect with each incoming freshman class in a way that I couldn't get otherwise.  It has also given me a chance to spend time with Dr. Owens, a man who has become a spiritual and professional mentor to me.  My Alive group is a time of community and discipleship that I relish - a time to lead guys that I respect and admire further towards Christ.  Hockey provides the only physical outlet I get in a week - a chance to run around and be active.  Student ministry (the accreditation fulfillment, not the general service) is...required.

And I suppose therein lies the problem.  I don't know if I want a solution to it at all.  I'm not even sure if there's a problem.  I talked to Dave Legg about this a while back, and commented to him how I was always amazed to see people standing between the dorms just talking and hanging out night after night.  I have never had the time to do that.  I asked Dave, "how do they have the time to spend that much time with each other?"  He replied, "They don't do their work."  I thought about that for a second, and asked, "So are you telling me to stop doing my work?"  He laughed, and then said to me, "The difference between mediocrity and hard work is usually hard to recognize.  It is one of those things that takes a while to pan out.  The pay out for mediocrity often looks alluring to those who work hard, but the rewards for hard work come in time."

I doubt that I will ever be less busy than I am now.  There will always be responsibilities, things to do, people to whom I need to minister, sermons to preach and lessons to teach.  I cannot fathom a time during which busyness will not be a part of my life.  My prayers reflect this.  I do not pray that God would alleviate my burdens, but that He would give me the strength to bear them.  I do not know if this is correct - but it is what I do.  A prayer that commonly escapes my lips is "LORD, grant me rest beyond the amount of sleep that I will get tonight."

I do not know the end of this entry, because I am still asking myself the questions in it.  Part of me knows that I need to rejuvinate myself.  Another part of me knows that I should not be idle.  I have yet to find the answers.  I know this: busy or not, my priorities must be clear.  I am not to busy myself in my panelled house while the House of the LORD lies in ruin.  God desires to dwell with me, and I with Him.  And therefore I must make time.  Even if that means less sleep (which it usually does) - I would rather my rest came in Him than in bed.  But other times the bed wins regardless.  "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."  So that is my pursuit - to actually be with God as much as I desire to be.  The rest is still a mystery.

Psalm 127:2 "It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

Proverbs 14:23 "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty."

Mark 6:31 "And he said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.'"

2 Thessalonians 3:8 "...nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you."

Currently Listening Gregorian Chants: The Best of the Benedictine Monks of St. Michael's By Denis Stevens, Benedictine Monks of St. Michael's de Laudes, The Monks of the Benedictine Abbey of St. Benoit, The Ambrosian Singers, Fr. Joseph Montalbo Conditor Alme see related